Ahhh the tangled webs we weave when we weave from the world wide web. Of all the stories I’ve written from my online escapades, you’d think I would have learned early on to screen these people more before meeting them in public…yeah, not so much.
I had met Olivia through match.com. She was a free spirit, still in college, and had very little inhibitions. She was out for the summer and we had decided to meet at Kennywood.
We finally meet and, again, I’m let down. This girl was not attractive. You know, it should really be a felony to post doctored photos on your profile when you look nothing like that in person. I should have left. However, I was bored and she got me in half price because she worked there. Yeah, I took a girl to the place she worked 6 days a week on her day off. I’m a douche.
We decided to get on The Exterminator. It’s an indoor, in-the-dark rollercoaster. We’re in the middle of a line of about 80 people. It was hot, humid, and the wait was forever. We’re standing there talking and I turn around to see if the line is moving, when:
Me: “What the fu**?! Why did you just try to stick your thumb up my butt?!?!”
Olivia: “Just testing my boundaries…”
Me: “Jesus Christ you definitely found them. Line drawn….”
I turned back around in complete disbelief…..
Me: “Son of a bitch!!! Will you stop?! There are little kids watching you!!”
Olivia: “Oh hahahaha.”
Me: “Yeah, not funny.”
Olivia: “Ha. ha. ha!”
